Updated: Oct 27, 2020
Dear Mama... Dear Friend.
I like to imagine I was wise after having my 2nd baby. It wasn't my first rodeo, my oldest had broken me in, and some of the anxiety had morphed itself into wisdom... or at least, experience. Life was calmer. I simmered in the baby haze and just let the storm roll over us when it came. This was before I became a crazy mom of twins, but I digress.
I know you're struggling . I feel it, I see it. I want to help, but I'm on the other side of the protective wall you've built to keep your chaos contained.
I wanted to tell you some things, because I hope you'll find your Mama footing faster than I did.
Your baby will cry. You are not a bad mom. You will also cry. You are not a weak. Your baby will stop crying. I promise. I don't know when (and NO ONE does)... but they will. Just cling to that, when you feel like your sanity is dropping off a cliff. Walks/fresh air helped me in those moments.
Your baby will do things that aren't in the books you read. You aren't doing it wrong.
You will not die of lack of sleep. You will feel like you might though.
You will have to do your best. This does not mean following the rules you set before your child arrived, or magically avoiding making any mistakes. Doing your best means making the BEST decisions you can for the welfare of your baby with the information you have in the moment. That also means prioritizing your own mental health, because a mother who is mentally & emotionally taken care of, is a critical part of your child's welfare. If you take nothing else away, let this message be it.
Let others help. I only figured this out (out of sheer necessity) when my twins were born. Let them help. I beg you.
What would you think of a mother you know and loved who came to you, desperate for support? What would you think of a mother you DIDN'T know? The same thing: "That woman needs me. How can I serve her? What can I do to help her?" I can't think of a single human I know, that would turn down a mother in need. For real. How badly do you think your loved ones want to support you? Light your bat signal.
We aren't alone in motherhood, this much I know. Neither are you. Ok?